Advent calendar bad behaviour

large_6214119489Hurrah, it is December. Our office already looks like Christmas has been sicked up on it and I’m sat here in my ‘Merry Christmas Ya Filthy Animal’ jumper.

My Mum rang at the end of last week to see if MY advent calender had arrived (that’s what I heard anyway). Continue reading


Asking my advice. Yay… and also Yikes!

I was having a good old chops with Whirling Dervish this week (post-germs) while her Dad was pottering about doing man-stuff.

She was telling me all about a not very nice situation she’s got going on with her group of girls at school. Let’s call the others Grace, Rachel and Olivia.

Grace has decreed that Rachel and Olivia can’t play with Whirling Dervish anymore. Rachel especially is allowed no one-on-one time with Whirling Dervish.

origin_5769151705FFS, they’re seven! Surely this crap shouldn’t kick in for at least another five years.

Continue reading

Poorly sick girl wants her Mummy (phew).

Whirling Dervish has caught a D&V bug off her Granddad (who was very poorly at the weekend).

The poor little mite gets very distressed when she’s actually sick, so I feel very very sorry for her.

That said, I’m an evil stepmother as very relieved that her Mum is on maternity leave at the moment, so can look after her, rather than Husband or I having her at ours and staying home with her.

Doubly evil stepmother/ second wife, as WD’s Mum is three weeks off her due date!

I do genuinely hope she doesn’t get it too. Continue reading

Have you been looking inside my head and heart?

Since starting this blog (feels like yesterday but is coming up to two months), I’ve made a small handful of blogging/ Twitter connections whose writing I really like, seems to have a similar outlook to me and have inspired some of my posts. Secret Step Mummy, The Secret Divorcee and Mum’s Days, I’m looking at you.

None of us are in the same boat, but we’re moored in the same marina.

It has been an almighty relief to come across their, and other, blogs. Before I even made the decision to start blogging I was looking up any advice, hints, tips, other people’s situations to check I’m fairly normal in my relationship with Whirling Dervish and also her Mum.

Most of the stepparenting blogs are based in the US. Of COURSE I realise  Americans are people too, but a very large proportion of those I have come across seem to have the ‘have a nice day now’ or overly religious message.

There’s some great advice in those too and some real heart-wrenching and heart-warming stories, but I don’t feel like they’re, for the most part, for me. Continue reading

I’m a stepchild but I can’t understand a stepchild’s lot

My Mum just did one of those random posts which you have to do too if you like or comment on it on Facebook thingies.

Hers was ‘I’m going to be on Jeremy Kyle’.

After threatening to disown her I did have a think about why possibly she would be appearing…. narrowing it down was the issue, not thinking something up!


My Mum married Husband #1 (she’s on #3) in her late teens and I came  along (more recent disclosures have revealed he wasn’t actually my ‘natural’ father, but that’s maybe a tale for another time. See what I mean about Jeremy Kyle?) when she was 22 and before I was two, we were out of there. Continue reading


Secret Step Mummy has written a wonderful post – Warning! Warning! 24 hours to Mumsnet Blogfest! – on her first jaunt to blogfest this weekend and the words

“I am not a mother I am a stepmother so am I going to be allowed in?”

knocked me for six! Bang on the money!

This is how I feel around every single one of my friends with children whenever I open my mouth to offer an anecdote about Whirling Dervish, opinion and even sometimes, advice.

I fear, totally irrationally, that they will turn and point hooked fingers at me and drive me from the village!

“You have not struggled to conceive” “You did not give birth” “You do not have a traumatic birth story” “You have no stitches” “You have no sore nipples” “You did not baby wear” “You have no school allocation woes”…..

You have not, you did not, you will not, you ARE not.

I am invalid. Continue reading

Whirling Dervish – A first encounter

I read a great post by The Secret Divorcee (has taken me about an hour to figure out how to post a link to look like this. New blogger!) yesterday about when and how to introduce a new boyfriend to children.

I was on the other side of  this and, as a woman, seem to be in a minority as a childfree woman getting involved with a parent. Continue reading