What kind of parent am I?

Quite some time ago, pre-Whirling Dervish days, Wise Best Friend said to me “I’ve always thought if you had had children, you’d be one of us.”

This tickled me and actually made me feel quite pleased with myself.

I do hope Wise Best Friend won’t be offended by the broad generalisation of cloth nappies, baby wearing, breast feeding, lefty leaning, hemp and spelt eating (may have made the last bit up, although she does make her own bread which is yummy).

So yes, if I’d gone down the motherhood route, I would, most likely be a ‘natural mama’ (I think I’m getting a rash just typing about this), or at least started out with those intentions (WBF also says she and her sister wish they’d made lists of all the things they said they would never do when having children, and then cross them off as they did them). Continue reading

Advent calendar bad behaviour

large_6214119489Hurrah, it is December. Our office already looks like Christmas has been sicked up on it and I’m sat here in my ‘Merry Christmas Ya Filthy Animal’ jumper.

My Mum rang at the end of last week to see if MY advent calender had arrived (that’s what I heard anyway). Continue reading

Anonymous blogging

I am gradually ‘outing’ myself.

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Dear friend and super-blogger-extraordinaire Hayley, author of Downs Side Up was the first to know about this here blog after Month 1.

Am now nearing the end of Month 2 and have just this very second (as written, this will probably get posted later) sent a link to Wise Best Friend (who, I had (bad friend) forgotten also blogs, so have just had about two years worth of catch up).

So why blog anonymously?

Continue reading

I’m a stepchild but I can’t understand a stepchild’s lot

My Mum just did one of those random posts which you have to do too if you like or comment on it on Facebook thingies.

Hers was ‘I’m going to be on Jeremy Kyle’.

After threatening to disown her I did have a think about why possibly she would be appearing…. narrowing it down was the issue, not thinking something up!

Anyhoo…

My Mum married Husband #1 (she’s on #3) in her late teens and I came  along (more recent disclosures have revealed he wasn’t actually my ‘natural’ father, but that’s maybe a tale for another time. See what I mean about Jeremy Kyle?) when she was 22 and before I was two, we were out of there. Continue reading

IMPOSTER!!!!!

Secret Step Mummy has written a wonderful post – Warning! Warning! 24 hours to Mumsnet Blogfest! – on her first jaunt to blogfest this weekend and the words

“I am not a mother I am a stepmother so am I going to be allowed in?”

knocked me for six! Bang on the money!

This is how I feel around every single one of my friends with children whenever I open my mouth to offer an anecdote about Whirling Dervish, opinion and even sometimes, advice.

I fear, totally irrationally, that they will turn and point hooked fingers at me and drive me from the village!

“You have not struggled to conceive” “You did not give birth” “You do not have a traumatic birth story” “You have no stitches” “You have no sore nipples” “You did not baby wear” “You have no school allocation woes”…..

You have not, you did not, you will not, you ARE not.

I am invalid. Continue reading