I was having a good old chops with Whirling Dervish this week (post-germs) while her Dad was pottering about doing man-stuff.
She was telling me all about a not very nice situation she’s got going on with her group of girls at school. Let’s call the others Grace, Rachel and Olivia.
Grace has decreed that Rachel and Olivia can’t play with Whirling Dervish anymore. Rachel especially is allowed no one-on-one time with Whirling Dervish.
I listened. We spoke about how it made WD feel. She has spoken to the teacher about it. Whirling Dervish cannot comprehend that Grace tells the teacher she’s not upsetting WD (which I think is good that she doesn’t really get lying yet). We talked a bit about being picked on and it’s not how the person who is doing it meant it, but how the person on the receiving end feels. Perhaps Grace is behaving like this because of other stuff going on (Grace is moving away at Christmas, so in a way, at the most Whirling Dervish only has another 3 weeks of her, but this could be an explanation, not excuse, for it).
Whirling Dervish declared that she will tell Grace “that this behaviour is unacceptable and if it continues there will be consequences for her”.
When Whirling Dervish comes out with stuff like this, copied from what an adult tells her, it cracks me up.
However, I asked if that is what the teacher had said? Yes. So I tried to explain that is it ok for WD to tell Grace that her behaviour isn’t acceptable, but telling her there would be consequences was for the teacher to say (and, unsaid, would also make WD sound like a Bond villain).
My response at that age and probably up until my late teens would been to have sent Grace in to the end of next week, but with a ‘parenting’ (aaaarrrgghh) hat on, we talked it through; suggested Rachel could come round to play after school or on a Saturday and that WD should keep communicating with the teacher.
As an afterthought, as we moved on to discussing the Skullcrusher dragon, I asked if WD had told her Mum about this. I AM glad that she had, and that Mum had spoken to the teacher about it as well, but, actually, I feel a bit Grinch’s-heart-has-grown-three-sizes that she wanted to talk about it with me (and a tiny part of me hoped it was only me she had told so I could be the ‘hero’. Ssshhhh).