Secret Step Mummy has written a wonderful post – Warning! Warning! 24 hours to Mumsnet Blogfest! – on her first jaunt to blogfest this weekend and the words
“I am not a mother I am a stepmother so am I going to be allowed in?”
knocked me for six! Bang on the money!
This is how I feel around every single one of my friends with children whenever I open my mouth to offer an anecdote about Whirling Dervish, opinion and even sometimes, advice.
I fear, totally irrationally, that they will turn and point hooked fingers at me and drive me from the village!
“You have not struggled to conceive” “You did not give birth” “You do not have a traumatic birth story” “You have no stitches” “You have no sore nipples” “You did not baby wear” “You have no school allocation woes”…..
You have not, you did not, you will not, you ARE not.
I am invalid.
Of course, my Mum friends are all amazing women and none of them have ever done anything to make me think like this and it all comes from my own insecurities and not knowing where I ‘fit’. Also, I am the only we-don’t-use-the-s-word-mum.
So, the very best of times wished at Blogfest to Secret Step Mummy (and all there), for writing inspiration and blogging know how, but also the biggest hope that she will be embraced by the Mum community and prove that we don’t have scales, aren’t out to steal or harm their children and spread the word that whatever fears Mums may have about that ‘other woman’ their child has a relationship with, we have our own too and sometimes without the sure grounding of who we are.