Over thinking alone time

Whirling Dervish, as on most school nights, was with us for a couple of hours before going home.

Her other home that is. We emphasise and mention (maybe too much?) that even though she only usually stays overnight once a week, ‘ours’ is her home too.

We have made sure the second bedroom is HER room and decorated as such and not a spare room that she happens to stay in. If we have guests we ask her if it’s ok for them to stay in her room. On her last visit, my Mum even gave her a thank you present for the loan of her bed.

So it’s great that she has her own space and feels it is definitely hers… however, and I’m fairly sure this is all my own head… there are evenings like yesterday where she comes in with us, has a bit of a chat and takes herself off to her room, not to be seen until time to go and I worry.

During this time we check she’s ok, ask if she wants to share what she is doing and she seems perfectly happy but I do worry that this means she feels isolated or that she can’t be in the shared living space.

But then I remember advice given by both my Sister and also Wise Best Friend, both mothers to three, children don’t always need us grown ups and don’t constantly need to be entertained.

If Whirling Dervish isn’t actively engaged with us (me) for every moment, it doesn’t mean we are (I am) unengaged with her.

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